I Have a Few More Questions for Guy Fieri

New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells recently asked some questions of celebrity chef Guy Fieri in his review of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar. I have a few of my own which remain unanswered:

You have been seen wearing sunglasses on the back of your head. Do you or do you not have an extra set of eyes?

Does Donkey Sauce come from donkey balls? And, if so, do you have a hand (no pun intended) in procuring said sauce?

Have you ever sent shirtless photos to New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells?

Have you ever used spackle as a hair dressing product?

Would you please once and for all provide the geographic coordinates of Flavor Town?

Is it true that defaced menus from Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar were found outside the U.S. embassy in Benghazi?

Is it “kewl” to spell “cool” as “kewl”? Discuss.

Does the phrase “Minute to Win It” refer to the process of procuring donkey sauce from an aroused donkey?

Have you ever engaged in a three-way with Johnny Garlic and Tex Wasabi?

Can diners at your restaurants receive second-hand smoke from the flames on your shirts?

Have you ever sent inappropriate emails to Jill Kelley?