GQ: An Interview with Ruth Bourdain →
Just in case you didn’t find the premise of this character absurd enough, GQ asked me for some dating advice.
Ruth's Rules: A Culinary Kama Sutra
My good friend Michael Ruhlman has written eloquently about the art of lovemaking while roasting a chicken. It’s a philosophy of living that combines cooking, multitasking, and horniness, and it’s one that, as you might imagine, I’ve totally fucking embraced. There’s no need to limit yourself to sex while preparing just one dish, however. In fact, once you begin to think...
Ask RuBo: Open My Wine, Beyotch!
In the New York Times, Florence Fabricant gives advice on the fine points of entertaining at home and eating in restaurants. Here, Ruth Bourdain takes those questions and gives her own fucking answers. Q. Dear RuBo: What’s the proper procedure if somebody brings a bottle of wine to your dinner party? Is it rude not to open it? If you do open it, do you acknowledge who brought it when it makes...
Ask RuBo: I Was Raised By Some Uptight Fucks
In the New York Times, Florence Fabricant gives advice on the fine points of entertaining at home and eating in restaurants. Here, Ruth Bourdain takes those questions and gives her own fucking answers. Q. Dear RuBo: My boyfriend has horrible table manners: using his fingers when it’s not appropriate, eating as if meals are a race, etc. Think of how a 4 year-old eats and you get the picture. I...
Is that what that was? It actually kind of tickled. Don’t worry about it. RT @MarthaStewart Yes, it was a pocket tweet…sorry!
Time to come clean: that smoke and ash over Iceland was not a volcano. Fell asleep drunk-grilling Paula Deen at Bjork’s house. What a waste.
Best typo tweet of the day RT @SkeeterNYC Met Josh Ozersky hanging out over at Farty Cue! Get the crawfish appetizer special…wow.
Oh, the humanity. Fighting. Blood. Tears. Anguish. Terror. All in the name of fucking ramps? Union Square worse than Liberia right now
RT @NoReservations: @andrewzimmern @ruthbourdain It is best to be careful in these situations. Sandwiches are known for their quiet brut …
Man at next table alone, anxious. Fidgets. Not so pretty woman sidles in. Drunken smirk. Absinthe, sweetbreads. Sloppy kiss. The woman is me
RT @andrewzimmern @ruthbourdain @kfcdoubledown Fermented walrus anus? Yes! KFC Doubledown? No f-ing way! Btw, love the hair Ruth
Persistent! RT @kfcdoubledown: @ruthbourdain: ‘Tasty’ bit of word play there, but I’d still suggest you at least try me before you knock me!
RT @firesign3000: @ruthbourdain so i think what @kfcdoubledown is saying is, “eat me”.
So, I think I hurt its feelings. RT @kfcdoubledown: @ruthbourdain: Sorry you feel that way, have you bothered to actually eat one of me?
It’s getting meta. Now, if only someone would really make the Three-of-a-Kind RT @NoReservations @ruthbourdain Sounds like quite the meal.
Fuck the Double Down. Working w/resto chain on “Three of a Kind” cheek-lovers sandwich: veal & beef cheek “bread” w/guanciale in the middle
FYI, that was a special LOST edition of the musings of Ruth Bourdain.
LOST: Total mindfuck. Michael whispers, sorry, sorry about Libby. Wild boar, fish, mangoes in the trees. Sunshine. Dharma beer. So confused.
RT @WaPoFood: Highlights from last night’s talk w/@ruthreichl 4 @smithsonianrap : her mom, Gourmet, Twitter, @ruthbourdain http://ow.ly/ …
Sitting on train, neighbor on phone. Learning more than I want to know about him: drugs, sex, pork belly rubs. Oops. He’s talking about me
Skin crisp, golden. Almost Snooki-hued. So crisp. Flesh soft like Emeril’s thighs, sweet, slick, fragrant. And crisp. Great roast chicken.
Such a shitty spring day. From this 7 train, on this morning, from these bleary, bloodshot eyes, Queens is very fucking ugly.
Sun spangled morning. Tiny yellow birds. Deep fry them, perhaps? Zesting tangerines for le bong. Meow. Warm bread, cold butter. Jam on it.
Setting the record straight re: http://ow.ly/1wibU My tweets are NOT to market my new book, Spooning With Oysters: Sex on the Half Shell.
Cool, rainy. Spring’s back. 8 for dinner. Pasta? Fuck it. Octomassage w/bitter greens, anchovies, red wine + a wicked chocolate happy ending
Daffodils. Game of baby boules; children tumble on grass. @aveceric spoons w/last night’s suckling pig.Gray hair,velvet flesh,crackling skin
Locanda Verde orgy of sausage, bitter greens, peppers, onions. Alice Waters nattering about “foraging” at Key Food. Pretty fucking annoying
Now @michaelpollan tells me his new mantra is “Eat KFC. Mostly Double Downs. At least two.” He’s fucking losing it.
Jesus. @MichaelPollan will not shut up about how good KFC Double Down is. Says omnivore’s dilemma is solved. He’s really sunken to a new low
Sirius interview just aired. And if u thought the avatar was creepy, wait til u hear the (scrambled) voice. more clips: http://bit.ly/cDqubI
Foggy morn. River still. Cold steak; fingers, cheeks, nose black w/char. Dogs sniff asses, hopeful, wishful for a hump. Down boy! Not mine
My interview with @martharadio will be broadcast Tues., 4/6 at 1:30 pm EST. on Sirius 112 and XM 157. Here’s a teaser: http://ow.ly/1uSXZ
Ma Peche: Death struggle w/deep, dark, evil motherfucker of a cauliflower, waterboarded in curry, mint, fish sauce until it gives in. Tasty!
Outside. Warm sun. Birds singing. Ducks on pond, clattering. Who am I, Cinderella? Fuck this. Camel bone, quad espresso, ibuprofen. Spring!
RT @dcpatterson: server wrote buttermilk on tix, which at first looked like butt milk. which immediately made me think of @ruthbourdain. …
iPad is in stock! Simmering right now with onions, carrots, celery, and 3 quarts of water. Props to @ruhlman for the ratio.
Sawdust on the floor. Stank of poontang. WTF? Oops, stepped on a Calico. Serious men cut serious meat. Seriously. Easter @ Florence (market)
For hilarious wine reviews #ff @fakewinereviews
My brother is coming. Pumped. We will celebrate with absinthe, oysters, mouse deer, absinthe, pork bellies and absinthe. Daylong debauchery.
Sunshine. Basic breakfast. Lobster claws fried in duck fat, bathed in cream, topped w/shaved truffles, spooned over buttered toast. Call 911
The gorgeous scent of oysters, cream and Worcestershire Sauce gives me a bivalve orgasm. Then cockblocked by cold-ass over-fried clams. WTF?
More: @samsifton has agreed to write a resto criticism column “whiggastronomy”: the world’s only resto reviews written in hip hop verse.
RT @louisachu: RT @Barry_Estabrook: @ruthbourdain @iknauer’s good, but @wsertl knows a lot more about penises.
More news: Alice waters has agreed to write a stunt column called “local’d” where she punks chefs into buying produce beyond their foodsheds
Just signed deal w/Conde Nast to edit new food mag called Goremet: expect full frontal pix of organ meats; blood and sinew; animal penises
Hilarious! As far as I know, there will be no Ruth Bourdain sex tape. RT @ArtofEating No comment. http://yfrog.com/9tdscn0827j