Strangely earthy on rainy spring night: spaghetti 3-way of mushrooms, asparagus, shallots. Reach around of lemon. Shower of cheese. So fine.
Rain biblical. Into the ark, 2 by 2: kimchi eggs, umbrellas, boots, scarves, Ramones albums, pork bellies. Tea oversteeped. God help us all.
Oyster morning. Woke up with the memory of lemons, but the reality of a dozen kumamotos in my bed. Hair wet w/mignonette. Disconcerting.
Hey! A column by @AJCFoodandMore about me & somebody named @ruthreichl. Ever heard of her? Pretty fucking good writer. http://bit.ly/a2t1Z1
Fuck yeah! Bieber bounced from trending topics! But, what the fuck is “Upin & Ipin”?
Work it! RT @tom_colicchio turning it out on 15th and 10th
Leaving Tacoma & never coming back. Heading to Portland. No hotel. Planning to wander the streets like a gypsy, eating all day. Can’t wait.
So, last night, hit rock bottom in my Tacoma hotel, nibbling American cheese, crunching crackers, drinking cheap wine. Alone. Total despair.
RT @tom_colicchio: @ruthbourdain you are a shining star out there in twitterverse and just made my night. http://myloc.me/5jO6g
No idea what this means but I love it @tom_colicchio My grotesque tripe and braised veal breastJust said, I am not an animal.
OMFG! Let’s trip RT @dcpatterson getting a new kind of seaweed called - swear to god - “acid weed” next week. higher ph than lemon juice.
AM in the park, first tender fluff of forsythia struggling into spring. Now it’s in my bong & I’m seeing palm trees. That’s some good shit!
#FF @iknauer @kimseverson @amandahesser @goodappetite @elinashatkin for playing along. You are brave people.
Momofucked last night like a sticky rice stuffed quail. Nothing beats sex w/seaurchins & David Chang’s hairy tofu, chewy balls like tapioca.
Nasty fart just exploded from the ass of @aveceric. “Excusez-moi!” Matching taste: I’m eating maple-drizzled pancakes he topped w/salmon roe
Mind fucking blown at Marea’s Soft Seafood Cuddle Party: snuggled w/eggs, oysters, uni, roe in a giant sea urchin shell. Smell awful now.
RT @SamSifton: Sriracha-lashed fridge ribs eaten over the sink. The dog whines. Pewter sky low over the Bay. You’d think @ruthbourdain w …
Down below cars creep down puddled streets. Up here brown sugar, butter, cream swirl into oats. Above a chimp is drinking my absinthe. WTF!
Beautiful RT @andreareusing: Our @ruthbourdain breakfast: soft-boiled farm eggs, crisp toast, children hectoring, projectile vomiting.
Scavenging! Gnawing on a cold, charred Porterhouse bone. Last egg. Only 1/2 lid tangerine zest. Barely breakfast on this cool gray morning.
Fuck. Cut myself slicing rhubarb, ruby drops falling from the knife. Outside a finch flies thru window into my mouth. Better than ortolan.
Off to get mani-pedis & cupcakes w/Giada & Rachael. Then, jazzercise w/Alice Waters & Paula Deen. Could be the worst fucking day of my life.
On the river, tiny sailboat drifting by. Batali struggling to do one pushup. Geese nibble my grass as I swat them w/a hot dog, beak by beak
Dropping character: mind-boggling RT @kimseverson: hear Bourdain & @ruthreichl speculate about @RuthBourdain http://tinyurl.com/ylszy5y
Bad night. Hot kimchi slicked w/chiles = spicarrhea. Smoking beef in lettuce ZigZags laced w/Sake didn’t help. Streets electrified by ConEd.
Fresh bong juice, the scent whirling in the air. Matzo brei, melting lardo (treif shmeif). Raspberries plump like Nigella’s boobs. Spring!
Early morning Manhattan. Sidewalks dotted w/gum, not so clean. Semi lurches like a fucking T-Rex. People smile. They are known as tourists.
RT @FoodNewsJournal: @ruthbourdain speaks! The (mysterious) mind behind Ruth Bourdain tells FNJ the offal truth (mostly) http://ow.ly/1nL58
Breakfast at Balthazar: Quintuple espresso, croissants, conversation. Room abuzz with oversleeping eurodouches. Shit it’s sunny!
Noon in NY. Entire city threaded with the scent of pee, beer, corned beef, cabbage, and vomit. Quite typical on St. Paddy’s day.
Esca, last night, oceanic 1-night-stand: creamy monkfish liver, rich and rare, spooning w/the surprise of a stalk of rhubarb. WTF? Yikes
OMG. Did @FrankBruni just say I was cute? *blushing* Haven’t felt this way since Ferran Adria told me I had a nice tuchus.
Sunny snack for end of days: Sweet potatoes poached in lard, whipped w/butter, infused w/cream, drizzled with maple. Sprinkling of Lipitor
Still no fucking power. Candlelight. Leftover ham, salad, sweet potatoes nyotaimori-style on @aveceric. Cheesecake never tasted worse.
Armageddon. Black sky. Power out. Ferocious wind. Fire a blazing inferno. Cold ham, thick bread, applesauce chunky like Guy Fieri’s thighs
Grating cheddar. Shredding scallions. Eviscerating shallots. Tangled onto bread,melting into a fucking lava flow. This will burn my tongue.
WTF! Woke w/the nasty scent of last night’s wallaby tibia on my thumbs. Lovely bone-tender, meaty, moist-but I though @ruhlman ordered that
Jean-Georges burger fucking me up with its kaleidoscopic flesh, fat & sinew, tender buns, perfect proportions: The Kim Kardashian of burgers
Thanks for all of the RTs except you @ruhlman. No taste? Watch your back. Honoring my fucking muses: #FF @ruthreichl and @NoReservations